I tried to sleep, but they continued to whisper in my ears. Promising sugared words of better tomorrows and a lifetime of love and happiness, begging for a second chance was all I could hear. What is it about being newly single that seems to bring out all the past loves out of the wood work? For me, the Second Chance Gang had more than one member. They all said around the same thing and they all gave me their word to do what it takes to never hurt me again given another chance. It was a race for the finish. A race that I sat in the middle and just watched. My happiness did not depend on whether or not a man was present in my life. My life had evolved and has transformed into so much more and anyone who wants to be in my life has to be flexible. My mind was spiraling with these thoughts.
Today I felt to disconnected from myself and from reality that I spontaneously decided to take a walk down a familiar path. I removed myself from everyone and everything for a little while. The path was abandoned and desolate. There was no beauty to be found. Just hills composed of dry yellow grass for as far as the eye can see. Into the hills I began my trek into the unknown. I was completely alone when my thoughts turned to second chances. In the past I’ve been forgiving and time and time again my heart was trampled on. My heart isn’t a toy. I’m not a prize to be won. I am simply a woman with strengths, weaknesses, dreams, goals, insecurities and limitless amounts of love to give. It was then I realized second chances are not given, they’re earned. This time around the Second Chance Gang would have to earn their way back into my heart.
For some of you out there you may think this is playing hard to get. No. Its knowing what I want and what I expect. I respect others, but first and for most I respect myself. I have decided a path in life and I’m following it through the dry grass-covered hills to greener pastures. I’m not saying the path won’t be covered with obstacles to overcome. Nothing in life is easy. All I’m saying is come with me, take my hand, walk down this path. For all of your hard work I will pay back with a limitless amounts of love. Instead of the should’ve been, would’ve been, could’ve been ask yourself what can I do now to be a better person in this relationship/friendship? All I ask is for you to trust in me, be loyal to me, work with me on this thing we called life and I will bring you the greatest joys of your life.