I decided to play catch up with a girl friend of mine. She had been doing the online dating thing for a little bit. She’s had some luck, but mostly just gentlemen that aren’t for her. She stopped doing it for a while to explore other options and when that seem to go no where she went back to online dating. There still men on the site that she was interested, but for one reason or another a in person meeting never did occur and so she decided to break my cardinal rule and message the one she liked the most. He was responsive and they seem to pick up where they left off. He did ask one question that stuck with her… he said ‘do you really give up on people so quickly?’
To a female that’s the ultimate catch 22. If you pursue a man then you begin to meander thru stalker territory and permanently labeled as clingy. Trust me that label doesn’t flatter anyone and once the damage is done there’s no undoing of it. It’s rare. The only place that actually happens is in a Hollywood script. I figure that a relationship whether a romantic one or a simple platonic relationship is like investing money. You wouldn’t invest your hard-earned cash into something that is sure to go bankrupt or showing signs of little or no return, so don’t do that in your dating life. This girl has clearly made an effort if he doesn’t return the effort then this is a one-sided relationship give up now before you’re fully invested.
Most women will say there’s other factors involved. He could be out-of-town, his phone could be broken, etc. Thats all a way for you to rationalize the 10 texts in an hour. And here’s why you give up so easily, as a woman in her mid twenties this is the best time of your life. Do you really want to wait for a man to acknowledge you? Your self-worth is not wrapped up in any man’s nod of approval.
And for all of you guys out there… here’s why females get emotional and make the mistake of leaving that angry text. She has already envisioned how well your first date would go. She’s gone to 3 different stores to find the perfect outfit. An outfit that doesn’t say I’m a virgin, but shines a light on the goods. Then she goes home, tries on the outfit again… ends up not liking it, throws it on the floor and picks something else out of her closet. Then she goes and gives herself a wax, not that you’re going to get lucky, but she wants to be ready in case you call and things get a little steamy. So she literally pours hot wax all over her legs and on her lady parts and rips the hair out. After that she takes a shower. Dries, curls and flat irons her hair. Next is make up. This isn’t even factoring in exercise and diet choices to make sure her body is stellar compared to the other females out there. The woman looks stunning only for you to not call, cancel, reschedule, whatever the case may be. By this time she’s furious. Who would’ve been? The woman has made an effort. She expressed concern when you were sick or just having a bad day. She wished you a good morning in other words you were the first person she thought of when she woke up that morning and you don’t bother. Here’s a hint let her off the hook. If she sends you an angry message, well at least you were honest. Honesty is a lot better than making her go thru all of that only for you knowing that you’re never going to ask her out.
So back to the question, yes you do give up that easily. Like in my previous dating tip, you never chase anyone that isn’t willing to chase you. If online dating has taught us anything its this… there are plenty of fish in the sea. True, half of the fish are deranged, perverts, former felons and/or just plain crazy, but you know how the saying goes, you have to message, block, and get a restraining order on a few frogs before you get a prince.
Remember: You are brave enough to put yourself out there, you are loving enough to want to incorporate this person into your world, you are smart enough to know when to walk away and you have respect for yourself to wait for something that you truly deserve.